I picked up my phone to look up something important because I needed to write. Then as I unlocked the screen I quickly remembered the scene from a movie I saw yesterday and how inspiring it was, so I said to myself let me re-watch that scene real quick for a fresh boost of inspiration. My battery was at 1% and as soon as I had finished watching the scene my phone died. So there I was sitting by the dining table, room well lit with all the drapes up and I was thinking, great! What am I going to do with my life now (there’s no electricity, I live in Nigeria), so I sat there idle for a moment and then I thought about how much control my phone had over me, and I hated the idea, and I thought back about the passages from morning devotion earlier and about the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Then I went to my room and dug up something I wrote 2 years ago.
Self-control is self-mastery. It is kingship over all life. At the center of your being sits your self. Your seat ought to be a throne. If you are not in control, if there are any forces in your nature that are unruly, that do not acknowledge your sway, you are not the king you should be. Part of your kingdom is in insurrection. The strength of your life is divided. The strong man is he whose being is subject to him.
-James Russel Miller
The Beauty Of Self-control, 1991.
Some of us hate to admit it but the smallest things have a stronghold on our lives. I always go to YouTube with the intention of watching one specific video but it ends in humiliation when I check my viewing history and see that I’ve watched six other videos. That’s just one aspect of it. Some of us it’s our ego that’s got a stronghold on us. We can’t let a single snide comment slide, we can’t resist the urge to prove we’re better, or “show them” who we are.
It feels humiliating to admit that anything/anyone outside of ourselves have control over our lives. We all like to think of ourselves as the architects of our lives, the captains of our ships, the authors of our stories. However, admitting that we’re not always in total control of our lives is the first step towards self-mastery. Spoiler alert, even the Bible makes it clear that we’re not the inventors of self-control. It is a gift that is given to us and can be taken away. (Galatians 5:22-23)
So what happens next after you admit that you’re not always in total control of your life or everything? You begin taking deliberate steps to be more in control. Knowledge you see, is power. When you’re in denial that you’re not always in total control, you subject yourself to the control of the things you’re in denial of. But in acknowledging it, you are more deliberate in your actions towards minimising or eliminating its control (breathe, I know it’s a lot to digest). So in my case, having admitted that my phone can be controlling, when electricity is restored, I simply plug my phone to charge and get back to my writing, instead of turning it on and going through my notifications.
An interesting question that was asked under the further study section of the morning devotional was: how are patience and self-control linked? I thought about it and the answer I came up with was this: patience and self-control have one thing in common – Waiting. With patience, you’re waiting on something (or someone). With self-control, you’re waiting something out – waiting out a fit of rage until you are calm enough to approach a person or situation more tactfully, waiting out a temptation until it eases up and you fully overcome, etc.
Self-control is a journey and everyone moves at their pace and the paths aren’t the same. As a Christian I’m made to understand that self-control is a gift of the Holy Spirit that can be granted to me if I ask. Your journey to self-control may involve more mindfulness or meditation, one thing is certain however, in order to practice self-control you have to admit that you’re not always in control.
I hope you find my thoughts helpful in any way. I’m curious to know your thoughts too. Let’s discuss in the comments.
Photo by Omkar Patyane from Pexels
LareWrites 